"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
exactly what the universe is for and why it's here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is
another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams, (taken from a happy planet
mango bottle)
This month's story begins
with an e-mail. An article about the end of the world. Did
you know the
world is supposed to end in less than 8 days. Yes,
that's right. 3 comets hurtling towards earth- beginning june 18-20. Oh sure,
It's probably a hoax.
But I would highly recommend
you find a copy of Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle, and
read it anyway (it's a great book)... and it just so happens that "hammerfall"
(the comet in this wonderful fiction) happens in June. :)
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/Aussie_Bloke.htm
http://www.bushcountry.org/news/may_news_pages/g_051604_assiebloke_end_world.htm
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0345421396/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-5703219-2285423#reader-page
http://www.usbunkers.com/main.htm http://home.pe.net/~mjagee/procon1123.html
http://www.angelfire.com/fl3/gammadim/wpaasteroidprophecies.html
http://www.angelfire.com/fl3/gammadim/wpaintroduction.html
http://www.telusplanet.net/public/tsgibson/propheticword.html
http://sohowww.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/realtime-eit_284.html
http://www.urbansurvival.com/week.htm
http://www.globalcontinuity.com/article/articleview/10265/1/30/
http://www.safehaven.com/article-1597.htm
http://www.bushcountry.org/news/jun_news_pages/g_060104_withheld_june_2004.htm
http://www.enterprisemission.com/_articles/05-14-2004/Interplanetary_1.htm
If you surf the chain of
links above, or follow your own pathways, you'll find some really interesting
information regarding this particular Armageddon. Now, here's where my angst
comes in. I refuse to state an opinion about weather I think the world could
or would end in such a way.. it is possible. It is also really really silly
isn't it. For even if it was true, what in the world could we do about it?
Here's my struggle friends
and beloved- every time I find one of these "scenarios" one of these silly
drastic end of the world conspiracy theories, I get shaken to my very core-
because I question my role in what comes next. It's not ego- its the knowledge
that despite the healings and the enlightenment and the incredible growth
that is happening here now, there is still a long way to go- and we may blow
ourselves up... or something else may come to pass which prevents our full
and total illumination.
Or maybe this is part of
the process of healing- if this time is truly to be a revelation, as John
once thought, then why not fire and brimstone and pain and death first. In
psychology, the transformative breakthrough always happens after an incredibly
painful self-awareness. Have we truly accepted responsibility for our actions?
Are we really puppets dancing on a long long set of strings? But I want to
believe that we can transcend without self-destruction. I want to believe
this so very much.
When I was evolving in
my spiritual walk as a teen-ager I was a promising up and coming missionary/born
again christian/ youth leader. And I KNEW something about myself that made
my path unique. I am here for a reason. I have always known this.
I made a drastic left turn
a long time ago, and so now rather than standing on a podium speaking in
front of many, I speak here on the web to a very few. I chose darkness, and
speak from the shadows. So who am I? REally? Am i the devil or the christ
or both? I would say both- for I believe the anti-and christ and one and
the same- in the bible both are called the Morning Star- if you pay very
close attention to the scriptures and don't get caught up in what you think
you are supposed to read. I chose not to stand and be a leader- and I had
what I thought were perfectly good reasons at the time... and now- I see
that my choice might (knowing who and what I am) make me both.
I know that 2012 is a significant
turning point- we are entering the age of aquarius, a profoundly new time
in the history of our spiritual evolution. The
mystics call it ascension, the christians call it Armageddon.. the sceptics
call it bull---. Fine-
call it whatever you want. I know on every level, from my own soul experiences,
from the spirit and self and the I Am, that in the coming years change is
going to be upon us. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt that I am here
because of these times and that I have chosen to come and act in this drama-
to change what I can, to heal, to free to eclipse ....
And I have no idea how
or what that means in technical terms. In typical "scatterbrained female"
style, I have absolutely no specifics about this quest or my choices. I have
almost stopped guessing. But- I know that it is significant. This life is
meaningful. And
for those ancient ones that have blessed me by introducing yourselves to
me in person and full spiritual glory- I also recognize your choice to be
here as well.
I want to reach out and
touch each of you before the change. How can I do that? Have I left myself
enough time? Am I going to be too late? Is that possible? Why does it feel
like everyone needs a drastic SIGN or prophet or bloody christ to appear
on a million television screens before we choose to act? Haven't I been doing
exactly what I needed to... are we not always in the right place and time?
Oh FURRRRRR!
Very very seriously I ask
myself in the quietest of voices, "are you sure that turning down
the opportunity for fame as a guru or great spiritual leader in the past
was the right choice. Were you not ready then? Are you ready now? Can you
resist the impulse to scutter back into the desert once again- when the sceptics
and mystics and the militant children of the faith descend and question your
sanity and your right to be who you truly are. And does anything that you
are doing now really matter?"
If it all ends tomorrow,
then what is the point- and what did you miss along the way?
For I did not call you-
I gave you a choice, and I lived with you instead of rising above and taking
what I know to be mine. I loved each of you, and always, in all ways will.
I breathed as one with you, I have tried to experience this human experience
fully. And I have been as flawed and faceted as anyone. I chose, in the past
few years the love of one, over the love of many.. and I believe it was the
right path. I accepted that each of you has the power to be who I Am. You
each have been given a birthright- that of choice. If I had stood up and
been what you were looking for, you would have become sheep- and I have far
far too much respect and faith in you for that.
I have also lived in angst
for a long time, feeling disconnected from my own true path and voice. It's
been the most incredible pain, hiding in here- waiting for a moment to speak,
hemmed in by the weight of a shroud- and the fear of expectations and judgement.
Oh sure, it sounds absolutely crazy. IN-Sane. Welcome to the eye of the needle.
The only reason to speak
now, and the only thing that has changed, is me. It doesn't matter if you
send me a billion e-mails calling me a fraud and liar and blasphemer or hypocrite.
It only matters that you understand that it doesn't really matter who or
what I am in the end, but who you are now- for you are the ones who choose
and who have invested in this place and time. As I have. I could be absolutely
anyone.... and I'm only expressing this now because i'm tired to hinting,
alluding and suggesting the possibility of it, while holding the weight of
it.
Is less than one week enough
time for any of us? I mean, hoax or not... lets consider the possibility
for one second- if you knew that the world as you know it would end in less
than 8 days would you be satisfied that you had done all you could to heal
yourself, and the planet? Would what you go to work to tomorrow have the
same meaning- would it be enough for you- would you really want to spend
your last days wandering from mcdonalds to starbucks to work and to the movies?
What's it all worth? If it were
to end in less than a week, would you have enough time to answer to the tomorrows
of your dreaming? As always I have faith that it is enough time...
but there are so many people I want to see and things I want to do before
that happens... and I am right in the middle of my life damn it! ;)
I've
been watching the city lights from my balcony... the fallen stars that litter
the ground like so many missed opportunities and hopes- like so many incredible
dreams and people who exist here...
I don't know about you,
but I know that I AM NOT finished with what I came here for... are you? Have
you started... cuz I think maybe we should get a move on... you know, just
in case aliens show up next month, or those ships massing in the atlantic
start world war three, or hey, just in case the world doesn't end and we
actually get to accomplish something with this life and place-
Sing a little
song for me...
Sing it
loud and clear
lend your
voice to the universe
There is
a blessing in the possibility of destruction that provokes a reaction a realization
of the reality of time of what has meaning-
Use the
power of your reactions and through your awareness create actions that represent
your greatest hour most outrageous beliefs and most furious joy.
Be powerful
and present and enraged with lust for life
repeat after
me:
I Am.
And say
it until you mean it then breathe in down to the root chakra and feel the
energy of the universe expand in your navel for you are the creator of the
world
in this
ending there is a beginning and you are the father mother, midwife and child
Namaste
Anime_Rose
