Life, Rent, Work and Energy

Here's my story, current situation, affirmation and intention. And I promise to be totally honest about where it goes and what comes of it all...

Those of you who know me, well... you know how important it is for me to love what I do for a living. Admittedly I'm not a very motivated employee if I'm not happy at work (but then who is?). And for the longest time I've struggled with getting myself moving, I haven't been able to see a different way of being... I have not trusted myself, or others to provide what I needed... I've been wrapped up in fear.

But I WANT TO WORK. Just needed to get that off my chest:) I WANT TO LIVE.!!!! (that too :P)

Now, here's where it gets interesting... I am at a point again, where this inaction, and even more so, the lack of faith has impacted me... it looks grim from the outside- but I am going to keep a record of how it all works out... I'm putting myself out on a limb here I know... but I believe unquestionably in the power of all that Is... and the energy called Love that flows through all things. Each time in the past that life has tried to take a turn for the nasty, I have been given wonderful gifts and blessed. And I write this, before the fact, so that I can begin to evaluate and express what incredible people surround me, and my gratitude for life-

It's saturday, and I spent this morning posting flyers for tarot readings and reiki for animals. I drive with Etienne in the Ice Cream truck listening to children sing and dance as he passes by. It's an amazing job, even though it's commission and we're never sure about how much money will be there at the end of the day.

I come home and 20 minutes later the landlord drops off our eviction notice for non payment of rent (yes, it is valid, yes we're broke and yes, i know I should be stressed and scared and I AM NOT. I take it as a challenge yes, but not as the end of the world because I have been here before, and I know that what is meant to happen will).

Maybe 10 minutes after the notice arrives, the phone rings- "Is this Anime?" A client calls for a tarot reading. :) So, with nervous butterflies in my stomach go forth to the arranged cafe.

I meet a lovely woman, who I read and we have a great conversation (she even takes me out for dinner, incredible!) And it turns out that she is studying massage therapy... we have a lot in common (past experiences and interests). I roll home at about 12:00, and here I am writing this post.

Now, as I was walking home I thought a lot about what I'm going to do next- for I want to make the most of these next 5 days.... I am putting my faith in myself and in the universe, and in all higher powers- for now my living space is the price I am going to pay if I can't manifest my abilities in a profitable way.

Stay tuned... I will keep you posted on what happens... and who knows- maybe this will be the very thing that spurs me into a new existance- I am prepared to all manner of wonderful things- and all manner of new experiences now.

As for everything I said before about being selfish... hey, I had to get that out of my system. It was about time I vented that from my system. I thought about taking it down and changing the posts... but why in the world would I do that, when what you know of me should be based in all facets of I- not just the good... but the frail, the sad, the frightened... I am going to establish my presence here... and tell you about I as I can be... let you see that we all struggle- there's nothing wrong with feeling bad my friends- just in denying that those feelings exist.

May you all be blessed, and free and happy.
Love always
light always
in trust and faith
May the stars guide you always
and the world be a playground
Anime Rose