Process

Rule one of counselling: it will probably get worse before it gets better.

Amanda's note about this rule:

Don't blame the victim, don't judge the emotionally ill... just hear and be there.

Non judgment, unconditional positive regard, acceptance of current stage of growth- or simply of person who is telling you about their pain, patience all are important. But then again, who am I to tell you anything about being with people- those of you who have always been the ones to find others, to bring them home, to fight for their rights and their power... you have always brought great light into the universe, and done so using any means necessary.

I feel a lot of judgment these days, and it seems to be directed often at those who are not emotionally well. A judgment placed on those who have less because it somehow is their fault. Despite all of my own beliefs about manifestation and the like, for that reason alone, I sometimes wish that I could still be a Christian and believe in the power of God as a father- because those who believe in creating the world in their image (what you think creates what you experience) tend to view those who struggle as somehow "wrong", and then they use that as an excuse to judge instead of heal.

And maybe I'm just reacting this way, because my whole life I've heard the same thing from people I cared about, that I loved... as soon as I began to struggle they made me feel that there was something wrong with me, instead of supporting and loving me and accepting me for who I am, good bad and ugly. (Then again, a large portion of this painful experience came directly from those who were Christian and thought they were helping me) They cut me off, tried to change me, forced labels on me and pills down my throat, when all I really needed was love. Of course this is exactly why I feel that I can't express my own feelings often (thus the accumulation). In return I have cut off, tried to change, forced labels on and judged others who I thought needed my "help". I have taken power away from them by giving advice, trying to push them in this direction or that, stopped talking instead of sharing my own pain and lessons learned from those experiences.

It would be entirely safe for me to say that in the past, I have become silenced by fear of judgment, and in not being able to share all things of me, including those which are not perfect and beautiful and full of joy and love, I have also not shared the lessons that I have learned from those things. I believe that my students and true companions in this lifetime have been the only ones I have shared those intensely private things with- and lately, it seems I say less and less, and fear more and more to speak.